You're Like a Monomorphic SNP You're Like a Monomorphic SNP
[breakup letter to a geneticist]
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You're like a monomorphic SNP
in more ways than just one
you want to be my lone allele
and stop my polymorphic fun

These days I am finding you
quite difficult to call
I think you're causing my disease
but it's probably just my fault

You may have been selected
at some point in the past
But it's too late to fix you
'cause old alleles don't last

You're like a monomorphic SNP
a contradiction through and through
You say that I've changed since we met
well perhaps you should have too

I just want more clusters, baby
to adorn this scattered plot
I need a common risk allele
which is everything you're not

But wait...look there! Do I detect
some heterozygous shading?
Alas, no luck; just like our love
your DNA's degrading